peaceandlove

We’ve all done it. We’ve all broken up with someone, gotten back together with them, and then broken up with them again. “Break up to make up” as the Stylistics so perfectly put it. How many times can we break up with someone until we figure out that it should be the final time?

There really is no answer to this. It’s been said by those who’ve experienced it – getting back together never works. The premise behind that idea is that nothing really changes, nor do people in such a short time. The one factor that does disposes the getting back together notion is when both parties consciously, willingly, and eagerly want things to be better.

As long as both parties can healthily communicate what changes need to be made and agree on them, then there is a possibility that things can work. I’ve done it. I’ve even gotten back together with someone after 7 months of separation. It worked for awhile but essentially things didn’t change; we didn’t know how to make things different. Or I guess the bigger point is that my views of him and the relationship never changed.

I’ve been advised that things can change as long as one person at least changes. We just need to know what we need to change. More so than not, it’s about behavior and dealing with specific occurring situations. We need to respond to the same problems in a different manner. Instead of using the same old tried and true, respond differently, possibly even dispassionately. Don’t be so emotionally affected by every situation, just look for a solution that works for both. Never digress to past behavior and definitely forget about past events.

My girlfriend is currently re-entering a relationship that has ended at least 3 times prior. But this time she says it’s different. And really it can be so. As long as the both of them have grown from their past experiences it can work. So instead of giving my typical speech of insanity and banging your head against the wall, I am going to hope for the best. I am going to hope that this is really a relationship that just needed a little fine tuning, and that both of them now possess the tools and clarity to do such.

My advice – only do what makes you happy!       

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